Why Do we Love Cyclocross so Much?

Oh, Let Us Count the Ways we Heart Cyclocross

It's not fall yet, and far from winter, but we have a minor cool down to about 82 here over the next few days so naturally my thoughts have turned longingly to cyclocross. Make fun all you want, "It's the steeplechase of bike racing, ha ha" but I contend if one was to have just one bike for all riding, a 'cross bike...especially in the Boise area...is the one to have. You can do road rides on it, gravel grind, it makes any of the 8th street fed trails way more fun than on a mtn. bike, and as you can see here, you can even get super rad on some jumps if you have the skizzies like Yoann Barelli. So here's why I'm so excited for 'cross season. 

#1: People dress like superheros, but unlike roadies and XC geeks, they do it in a playful, ironic way.  

Exhibit A: The Flash up there. 

                                                                                 

#2. We now have disc brakes. 

More versatility and more control just means you can get more rad. What they say is true: it never gets easier, you just go faster.

#3. This kind of S**t

I've used this image before because it's just so damn good. That's a guy in a Darth Vader mask in Bend Oregon, launching with style, hot on the heels of another guy who has goth mascara running down his face. King Kong's got nothing on 'cross.

#4 Weather

Tailgating at football games is great for some, but it gets old. When it does, you'll find there's nothing better than 'cross on a cold weekend morning. The colder, the wetter, the icier, the better. Nobody in their right GD mind likes a mild or even hot 'cross day. It was designed to make people suffer...all people, through adverse conditions. The mettle of a man is tested in adversities and he, who remains firm in his beliefs comes out shining...or something like that. Now, how do we make this fun? See #5 and #6.

#5 Heckling

You could make the case that Donger bells and yelling are encouraging, and some people actually use these tools in that way. I know, right? There's something wrong with their world.

'Cross is about being irreverent, competitor and spectator alike. You can only cheer on your spouse once per lap. You can mentally tear down their competitors literally the entire rest of the time. In terms of output and efficiency, hate wins in 'cross. It only makes sense to heckle, and it keeps you warm.

#6 Alcohol

Before you get your panties all in bunch on this one, take a step back and don't be so prude. Like it or not, cycling is riddled with drugs. It goes from Cytomax for recovery, to Tylenol just to get out of bed in the morning, amphetamines to keep going, then HGH to keep from falling apart. EPO at some point is just to be in contention....and the next thing you know other people's blood is in your blood.

Not so much with 'cross. Sure, it hurts...so why not take a beer hand up? Or stronger, if you desire. If you're in the lead, you're a wussy not to. If you're trailing, there's nothing lost. "Win or lose, we're on the booze," as they say and alcohol is the drug of choice for CX. Given the alternatives, it's a healthy one.

I say, bring on the rain.